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The Heart Ache Of Spring

April 16, 2018

“It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!”   - Mark Twain

I bet most of us actually HAVE fevers because the seasons can’t get their act together. It’s cold. It’s hot. It’s warm. It’s cool. Ummm... this morning it’s freezing! Some flowers and trees got the memo and are bursting. Some are still hanging tight in their buds just in case it snows again. I don’t blame them. I put my coat away a few days ago and pulled it out this morning in full force. 

Even though it is gray outside, I'm pretending to be a springtime blossom!

Even though it is gray outside, I'm pretending to be a springtime blossom!

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. ~ Doug Larson

How are you doing with the season change? Are you hanging tight in your buds or are you blooming? It’s hard to know what to do sometimes when you know change is coming but it’s taking its time arriving. It makes us second guess and doubt things sometimes or maybe even give up all together! 

Mark Twain’s quote up there is from one of his short stories called, "Tom Sawyer, Detective." I love how he writes you don’t know what you want, but it makes your heart ache. I feel like as I anticipate spring and all the promise that comes with it, I find myself wanting things. Things unnameable, but heart ache inducing things none the less; relationships, jobs and opportunities, health and happiness. Yes, I’ve just named my wants but what do I REALLY want? What do those things look like? What are their names? I don't quite know. 

I’m using this ‘to bloom or not to bloom’ period as a time to really get clear. To be specific with my wants. Name them. Daydream and night-dream about them. Normally, I’d make a plan on how to claim these wants. I’m not really a ‘wait and see’ kinda girl. I am a doer. A list checker off-er. I’m pushy with my circumstances. It makes me itchy to not be working towards something. 

This season I’m changing things up a bit. I’m loosening the reins of control, trying to relax and let life bloom without my effort. It feels freeing to let things unfold without my will or skill or influence guiding it. Why not try something new, right? 

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I think this delay of spring is a gift. It’s stretching out the season. It’s giving our buds more time to gather what they need to flourish at the perfect time. It’s giving us time to get clear with what we want for the rest of the year. 

No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow. ~Proverb

Hang tight, my friends. Spring is on its way. The blooms will open bringing new heart aching unnameable wants. You know how you leave a class at the gym or jump off the treadmill and everything ache's a bit? But it's so satisfying because you know you worked hard and are getting stronger! So heart ache’s not so bad. It just means we’re working our muscles of love and they're getting stronger. 

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In my kitchen, spring means fresh pea and tarragon soup. If tarragon is too licorice tasting for you, mint is a great substitution. This soup is good hot, and it's really good cold as it gets even warmer. And if your markets aren't showing off with fresh peas just yet, I have no problem suggesting frozen peas. They were fresh spring peas at some point. Show them some love!

Fresh Green Pea Soup

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  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 cup shelled fresh green peas
  • 1 cup chopped white onion
  • 1 tablespoons minced garlic
  • 4 cups vegetable broth
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon, plus more for garnish

Heat oil over medium heat in a soup pot. Add vegetables and garlic, stirring. Cook for 5 minutes until the onions are translucent. Season with salt and pepper. Add vegetable broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes. Add tarragon. Let cool slightly. Purée in a blender or use a hand-held stick blender. Serve with more tarragon as a garnish.

Tags fresh pea and tarragon soup recipe, springtime in New York City, season changes
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