You know the saying ‘You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t’ right? I was breaking down the day with a friend this week and he was telling me about an experience at work. He felt he only had 2 choices in a situation, and both of them were going to deliver some iffy results.
Basically, ‘If I talk to this person, it might be inappropriate, they might not have time, they might not want to engage with me. And if I don’t talk to this person, maybe they'll think I’m being aloof or standoffish…’ you get the drift. This scenario can play out in many different places - do I email this person, do I ask this person out on a date, do I ask this question…we are constantly speculating on results and often end up ‘waiting and seeing.’ Waiting and seeing means you don’t care. You are willing to let things play out without having a say in the outcome. My friends, we have a say.
My friend didn’t ask for a sermonette (as my Father calls my postulations,) but I gave him an earful; a heartful really. I feel really passionate about this. Yes, there is a time and place for everything, but in most cases, I believe we are damned if we don’t.
When I am faced with a choice, I ask myself -What do I want? What action will get me closer to what I want? It is usually the scarier, riskier, harder action that I need to take, and that is good news! It means I get to work on my moxie. What’s moxie? Character, determination, nerve.
A lot of times we avoid those scary actions because we don’t want to be ignored, rejected, or denied. To put it plainly, we are afraid of hearing NO. So we don’t ask, call, write… we do nothing. We close the door on any opportunity for a YES or even a maybe! We can never fully predict the response or reaction of another, but I think it is our responsibility to engage. I think it is good for us to look people in the eyes or let someone hear our voice or even be faced with our typed words. Good for both parties! Human interaction is a gift on all levels. If someone chooses to ignoredenyreject us, that is on them. That NO has no bearing on our intentions, our goals, our faith. Those are unshakable. Maybe we’ll get a NO anyway. Well it won’t be for lack of trying. I can humbly admit, a great many of the NO’s in my life came from my lack of trying.
So I told my friend, ‘You are not damned if you do -you don’t have a clue what will happen. But I know for sure you are damned if you don’t.’
Similarly, I used to avoid buying peaches because it seemed I always chose peaches that were not free stone, where the fruit separates easily from the pit. I would get frustrated and mutilate my perfectly cut peach halves trying to remove the stubborn pits. I would get angry that my grocery store didn’t advertise them as cling peaches, where the flesh of the fruit is meant to adhere to the stone in the middle. So I went on a peach boycott because I couldn’t predict the scenario of pit removal. I know, this is a ridiculous problem, but I took it pretty seriously. I realized that I cared so much about these crummy pits because I love peaches, they are truly one of my favorite fruits. The whole pit thing was spoiling it for me.
Damned if you don’t applies to the peaches too. If I avoid cutting into a peach for fear the pit won’t easily fall out, I’m denying myself this luscious treat. And life without peaches is the pits.
Grilled Peaches With Honey Thyme Yogurt
- 3 peaches, halved (and if the fruit clings to the pit, slide a melon baller underneath it for a clean scoop)
- nonstick spray
- sea salt
- 1 1/2 cups yogurt
- 1 tablespoon honey
- 1/2 teaspoon of thyme leaves and sprigs for garnish
Heat a grill pan until it is smoking hot. Lower the heat and spray the peach halves with nonstick spray on their cut sides or brush them with olive oil. Place them on the grill pan cut side down, after about one minute, check and see if there are grill marks. If so, give the peaches a rotation to create a cross hatch. After another minute, flip the peaches over and turn the heat off. I let them rest as the pan cools down and they absorb some of the residual heat without getting too mushy. While the peaches are resting, combine the honey yogurt and thyme. Place the peaches cut side up in dessert dishes, sprinkle with sea salt. Divide the yogurt among the halves and top with thyme sprig.