I had a date a few weeks ago with a new gentlemen friend and I did my normal Lisa Adams thing - I asked a bunch of questions. And not just the getting-to-know-you ones, like, what’s your favorite food? (He’s vegan, so he said a vegan pasta dish.) How many siblings do you have? (He’s a brother to four sisters.) What do you do? (He’s in finance). Those are all important questions, and I want to know those answers too. But the Lisa Adams questions tend to call for a little more unveiling than the facts you can deliver in short answers.
This date taught me a lot about myself. In life, I don’t really scratch the surface, instead, I go deep. The farther down you go, the closer you get to the truth or the heart of something, right? So many of us pile on so many layers as a means of protection. With so much protection, scratching the surface may feel like an archaeological dig! So if I can ask something that’s going to get me one step closer to unveiling your truth, you better believe that’s the step I’m going to take.
“We experience little genuine joy in part because we avoid the depths. We are an ascension culture. We love rising, and we fear going down... The band is narrow in terms of what we let ourselves fully feel. ” Francis Weller
Back to my date! He kept saying, “Wow, you sure ask hard questions...” You’d think I asked the guy to list off the periodic table of elements. He was really stumped. What did I ask, you ask? Well, he had just moved back to NYC from Los Angeles and has been here for one month. My question was, “What’s been the highlight of the last month?” Silence. He turned that question over in his mind forever. He finally came up with something, poor guy.
I let him take over the driving of the conversation for a while. At some point, we were talking about the calendar and I asked one of my all-time favorite questions that have to do with measuring time. “What are you most looking forward to in these last four months of the year?” He couldn't believe I'd presented him with another question for which he clearly had no answer. If you know me, you’ve probably heard a version of this query. I will ask that at the start of every year, the start of every season, the start of anything! Positive anticipation gets us one step closer to where we’d like to go. When I ask that question I want to know what your “thing" is so I can hold space for it in my prayers and wishes that it comes to you. I’m not just being nosy — It’s me making room for you in my heart. I guess that’s pretty deep and can scare people away in a first meeting...
Digging deep for the answers to these questions of what’s a highlight and what are you most looking forward to paves the way for the universe to deliver what we want. And we march along this pre-paved highway all the while waving a flag of gratitude saying thank you for the wonderful thing that just happened.
As you can imagine, there wasn’t a second date. And I am 100% okay with that. I learned to love my own depths and my need to go deep with others. I got one step closer to my truest self which then puts me one step closer to what or who is really out there for me either on a friendship, professional or romantic level.
Before I share this week’s recipe, may I ask those questions of you? What’s a highlight of your summer? What are you most grateful for from June, July, and August? (I know some of you had an extremely rough summer. I'm sorry. May there be better days ahead of health and healing.) And please let me know in the comments below, or send me a private message, what you are most looking forward to as we greet the last four months of the year? I want to hold space for you in my prayers and wishes. Let’s wave our flags of gratitude as we take one step closer to our dreams for 2018.
I was in Seattle far too many summers ago and I was served a carrot soup with dukkah and loved the nutty, sweet, and smoky flavor the spice imparted. Of course, I came home, found it at my beloved http://www.kalustyans.com/ and immediately started sprinkling it on everything. These grilled eggplant and baby golden tomatoes were the perfect pairing.
Egyptian Eggplant with Blistered Tomatoes
Slice eggplant, brush with oil, season with salt, pepper, and dukkah*** and grill on a grill pan or outdoor grill. Arrange on a platter. Wash and stem the tomatoes and quickly blister them in a hot skillet with olive oil, salt, and pepper, just until the skins start to split and they take on a bit of color. Scatter the tomatoes onto the eggplant, drizzle with a little more olive oil and another dusting of dukkah. I had some fresh thyme from my dear friend Miriam's herb bed (Miriam also blessed me with the title and inspiration for this blog!) So I tossed a few leaves of that on too.
***Make your own dukkah! Toast some sesame seeds, hazelnuts, pistachios, cumin, coriander, salt, and pepper in a skillet and then grind it in your spice/coffee grinder or mortar and pestle. New things aren't new-they are new combinations of things you already know!